Because of Tarzan’s apparent refusal to gestate for longer than the usual nine months, we cannot travel this holiday season. So for the first time in the ten years that we have known each other, Robbi and I will be at home for Christmas, and for the first time in ten years, we have decided to get a Christmas tree. We contemplated going the fake tree route, weighing the virtues of avoiding herbicide against the ills of diminished aesthetics. In the end, the lure of that fresh piney scent won out, and we headed out to find ourselves a real live tree.

We found several that we liked but could not agree on which was the best. Ultimately, we decided to let Alden choose. I lobbied eloquently for my favorite.

And Robbi did her best to defend the merits of the one preferred.

Alden sided with Robbi, of course. But rather than fall into a dejected funk, I decided to throw my full holiday enthusiasm behind this other, lesser tree with a positive attitude and good cheer. We bundled the bastard steptree up and brought it home.

The tree I would have chosen had a perfectly flat bottom. Robbi’s tree, of course, was uneven and needed to be sawed. Did I complain? I did not. I sawed with a good-natured determination that would have made Bob Cratchit proud.

We hauled the newly-flat-bottomed tree up the stairs. At first, Alden was deeply skeptical of the tree stand.

But once we got the tree in place, she seemed to intuit how the thing worked.

Eventually the tree was in place and ready for Alden’s inspection.

We hung the lights and turned them on.

We went outside to see how the tree looked from the street.

We looked up at our tree and decided that we were looking forward to spending Christmas at home.

While Robbi and I were setting up the tree, Alden and my mom made Christmas cookies.

Which led to a rather satisfactory discovery.

Alden got to know the spatula pretty well that evening.

Fortunately, her enthusiasm for cookie dough is equaled only by her enthusiasm for brushing her teeth.

And, frankly, isn’t good dental hygiene what Christmas is all about?

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Here’s hoping you’re having a wonderful time with family and friends, and that the tree you’re sitting in front of isn’t merely the second best one you could have gotten.