Right Now

Right now I am working, doing the things I do to make money so that we can pay our electric bill, feed our kids, and put gas in our car. While I type with my hands and stare into my monitor, my right foot is gently bouncing Kato in his baby seat. A constant, gentle movement is all he seems to need for hours of bliss.

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I usually revert to humor or understatement when talking about my kids. No one else can possibly care as much about them as I do, and I am conscious of the dangers of sentimentality. But at this moment, I’m having trouble controlling my impulse to shout from the mountaintops about how much I enjoy being a father and how much I love my kid.

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It’s unforgivable, all this sentiment. Apologies. You’re free to stop reading. But if you’re still with me, just have a look at this little man. Even when sleeping (or maybe especially when sleeping), he’s just so endearing, so lovable, so demanding of devotion. I find myself coming undone.

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Who knows what strange chemicals our bodies use to fool us in these early days and weeks of parenthood. By all accounts, this tiny thing is a terrible hassle: irritating, loud, expensive, and disruptive. And yet…I’m writing this and you are reading it. So both of us are suckers.

4 comments to Right Now

  • Sarah

    Yay! That has me smiling ear to ear. Can’t wait to meet him.

  • Robbi

    Count me in as another sucker. I’ll try to refrain from so blatantly admiring my own kid. And will blame the chemicals, too.

  • GS

    :) I must say that as an objective outside observer, he is pretty darn delectable. And he gives you moral support while you work? He’s a star.

  • Clare

    FYI, that feeling doesn’t go away. Mine is 20 years old, and still I come undone on a regular basis. And, well, the “expensive” part continues as well. ;-)

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