Yesterday we were driving Eastern Shore backroads and came along the sign for this fine establishment.
The question is, what wares, exactly, is Twinny’s Sun & Guns peddling? My mind races with theories, but lest I pollute the waters, will hold them in check for now. The person who offers the most plausible explanation (in my humble judgment) wins a copy of either The Vast Sahara (in which the sun plays a prominent role) or Let me Count the Ways (which contains various guns, some of which are fired).
No fair using Google to come up with the actual answer, which will almost surely be less interesting than whatever scenarios our unhinged imaginations might inspire. And come to think of it, it’s probably a stretch to think that the Sun & Guns has developed a comprehensive web site. But perhaps I do not give them enough credit?
The winner will be announced on Wednesday. In the mean time, I’ll do my best to divine the actual business plan of Twinny’s Sun and Guns, whatever it might be.




In my humble opinion, it is an establishment licensed to sell both firearms and time in a tanning booth. It’s popular in the South for tanning beds to be placed in other, incongruous, stores – like video rental stores – to drum up business. Though I will say… This one takes the cake!
Wow. This is a challenge! I examined the sign closely. It says that more parking is available behind the house – so it’s not a large building. The sign, with the woman, seems to indicate that the target audience is either straight men and/or lesbians. And then I thought about sun and guns, and where could they go together? And then – BINGO. It came to me. It’s a travel agency for African safari hunting adventures! But I am left with bigger questions. Who is Twinny? Is the woman portrayed on the sign Twinny? Or is Twinny a man? And what would the sign look like if redone by Robbi? And could Idiots’Books produce a book giving us Twinny’s back story?
Kate and Don:
I like the way you people think. Pursuing Kate’s theory, I wonder if the business model is meant to appeal to a single consumer who tans and then buys shotgun shells, or if Twinny’s is promoting a “his and hers” experience where the Mrs. works on her tan lines while Mr. checks on the action on a new sidearm.
As for Don, I admire you for thinking outside the box. As I take a closer look at the silhouette on the sign, it’s clear that the woman in question is, in fact, a lesbian preparing for safari.
Hmmm. Swimsuits, sunscreen, camo-wear, and shotgun shells? Duck-blind-friendly escort service, “hot blondes” only?
as an eastern shore boy I have been to many of the finer roadside establishments.
Twinny’s is one I remember quite fondly. They make the best subs in the county.
I would guess that Sun ‘n Guns is an establishment peddling both tanning beds and ammo. It reminds me of a place along Rt. 50 on the way to OC that has a wide selection of windchimes and a tattoo parlor.
I’ll admit. I cheated. I used Google. But as luck would have it, it turns out that the first Google result when you look up Twinny’s is……the Idiot’s Books website! So, if any intrepid Eastern Shore citizen is looking to do some target practice while tanning and is looking up sites to do so on the web, they may just find their way to Chestertown instead.
this:
http://youtu.be/K7vD2ejf4OA
duh.
With a single word (and a whole lotta skin), Stella has soared into the lead.
Wow. I have to admit, Stella is tapped into things that I didn’t even know existed. Who knew that she was more Eastern Shore than I?
I like how the people who commented on the video are real gun people, and are all worked up about how she’s holding the thing. I mean, didn’t you notice her boobs? And her awesomely hottttt bikini? Come ON you’re totally missing the POINT guys!
Wait!@#$? There was a GUN in that video? I thought it was about boobs and bikinis, and nothing but.
Obviously, the bikini is just a practical sales tool. Notice the lack of bounce in her equipment? This translates to the superior minimal kickback of their equipment. Um…duh.
stella- touche.
I think this is a bronzed body builder themed stripper business. Sun is for the tan-ness and guns are for the peoples’ muscular physiques. It doesn’t look like that building would actually house a strip club, so maybe they have small group shows there or send people out to houses.
I would guess the sign and name would appeal to outdoor enthusiasts who also like sexy ladies. Who doesn’t?
Now I will get back to doing my job. Hi guys!
aaaah errant apostrophe!!! sorry guys.