Matthew Draws 45 – The Answers

Matthew Draws 45 – The Answers

People, I am in a hurry. We leave for Alaska in ten days. I have 20 days worth of things to do. Forgive the brevity, but I know all you want is the eye candy, anyway.

This…

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 8.45.03 AM (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Screen-Shot-2016-06-14-at-8 NULL.45 NULL.03-AM NULL.png)

…is not

  • Al Gore
  • Dan Rather?
  • Howard Cosell (on a good day)
  • Ronald Reagan!
  • Jerry Orbach
  • Marc Albert
  • Howard Cosell
  • George W Bush
  • Howard Cosell
  • Ross Perot. Purely by the ears.
  • John Boehner
  • This is Howard Cosell.
  • I rather think this is Dan Rather
  • Ronald Regan? He has a 1970’s newscaster vibe too.
  • One of the Bushes . . . with a sagging chin
  • Please let this newscaster know that is face is melting (can’t think of his name!)

A good many of you guessed Reagan. This is not Reagan. It is not even “Ronald Reagan if he had been an unsuccessful boxer,” though that answer delights me.

No, as three of you people correctly guessed, this is Ted Cruz.

ted_cruz6 (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Annex-Garland-Judy_NRFPT_09 NULL.jpg)

 

In retrospect, this drawing is unfair.

And yet, Matthew Draws is not about fairness. It is about truth. This is a true drawing by me. Of who?

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 8.45.12 AM (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Annex-Garland-Judy_NRFPT_09 NULL.jpg)

  • I really hate to say this, but Michelle Obama? Sorry Michelle!
  • Blossom all grown up?
  • Loretta Lynch
  • Oh wow a penny for her thoughts.
  • I have no idea but I am very afraid.
  • Serena Williams
  • Dennis Rodman Hillary Rodham Clinton
  • You know that toy that’s a plastic man’s face and you put your fingers in the back and move them around to make him make terrible faces? This is his wife.
  • No idea
  • Audra McDonald?
  • Condoleeza Rice
  • An unflattering Donna Brazile
  • I totally know who this is.
  • Sandra Burhhart or whatever her name is. She’s so annoying
  • Stumped. No idea.
  • eeek. she looks mean. My 7th grade Home Ec teacher?
  • Cruella De Ville
  • ?!
  • Toni Morrison
  • Snarl-mouth Scribble-hair. No freakin’ clue, dude.
  • I think it’s a woman – Condi Rice??
  • Ivana Drumpf
  • No, it’s not bad. It’s terrible. Or I am.
  • Sandra Bernhard
  • Dunno, but she’s fierce!
  • Oh gosh . . . I’m going to name her Leona.

Here’s the thing people, the worse I draw, the better your answers are. So where’s my incentive to improve?

Exactly zero % of you correctly guessed that I was drawing Judy Garland.
Annex - Garland, Judy_NRFPT_09 (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Annex-Garland-Judy_NRFPT_09 NULL.jpg)

And here is a drawing I’m really rather proud of. But will that matter?

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 8.45.18 AM (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Annex-Garland-Judy_NRFPT_09 NULL.jpg)

Let’s see.

  • Lazy Eye Lena Dunham
  • Monica “lip sperm” Lewinsky
  • Amy poehler
  • She’s so cute but I’ve no idea whatsoever.
  • Monica Lewinsky
  • Drew Barrymore (& Harvey the Invisible Rabbit to her left)
  • Frances Bean Cobain
  • Monica Lewinsky
  • Kylie Jenner
  • Jenna Bush
  • Lena Dunham?
  • Amanda Bynes
  • What the fuck happened here?
  • Jojo the Bachelorette?
  • Drew Barrymore. At a hypnotist show.
  • Caitlyn Jenner/this doll when it grows up: https://www.flickr.com/photos/starling67/4837784855
  • Tina Fey
  • Maria Bamford
  • Um…Anna Farris with uncharacteristically voluminous hair?
  • Definitely a woman. Amanda Seyfried.
  • Ann Hathaway
  • Hello. It’s me. I was wondering if after all these years you’d get to drawing me. -Adele
  • maybe Cecily Strong?
  • Maisie Williams? Maybe Adele?
  • Honestly, I have no idea, but she needs an optometrist.

Darn it, people. Again, you delight me. Again, we failed to understand one another. This person is none other than Mindy Kaling.

mindy-kaling-680x440

Which brings us to #4. We have an opportunity to tie things up with a little  understanding or to have this go down as one of the least successful Matthew Draws of all time (depending, I suppose, on your definition of “success.”

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 8.45.24 AM

  • Oh! It’s that guy that plays guitar or something! What’s up with his forehead? Is he okay???
  • Kris Kristopherson
  • Jesse Tyler Ferguson
  • Someone suffering, someone pretending to be Van Gogh, a cross between Ryan Gosling and Tom Waits with a beard.
  • Ethan Hawke
  • Charles Bukowski (in need of a drink)
  • A hirsute waiter who just got a shitty tip?
  • Huh
  • Bearded, angry Brad Pitt? Bearded snarky Conan?
  • Clint Eastwood
  • Conan O’Brien
  • Sean Maguire
  • Werewolf Jack
  • Van Gogh
  • David Bowie. With a beard and a dapper tie. OR Richard Branson.
  • Lyle Lovett experimenting with facial hair
  • Brad Pitt
  • Fernando Castillo Saavedra in “Destinos: An Introduction to Spanish”
  • Ed Burns. No doubt.
  • Gordon Lightfoot when his music career ended, and he had to cut his hair and work in an office.
  • Jeff Foxworthy
  • Conan the Barbarian. I mean O’Brien.
  • Jon Stewart
  • Scott Green…I think.
  • I feel like I should know this one. I’m sorry.

I am sorry, too, my friends. And so is Benicio Del Toro, who wishes in vain that I had never heard of him and thus, never felt compelled to conjure his likeness.

Famous-men-beard-2015-64 (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Famous-men-beard-2015-64 NULL.jpg)

My star rating this time around? 3.25. Which is, on one hand, awful. But which is, on another hand, a stunning success, given that out of all the answers issued on ALL FOUR OF MY DRAWINGS, only three of you were correct and a full of these resulted in zero correct guesses. Which leads me to believe your mediocre (as opposed to abysmal) ratings of my prowess suggest some glimmers of enjoyment of my drawings, if not recognition of my subjects.

And now for the BONUS QUESTION (cue mirror ball and “Take My Breath Away”).

If you were lost in the woods and had to skin a squirrel to eat with one of these people, who would it be and why? 

Matthew_Draws_45_lineup (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Matthew_Draws_45_lineup NULL.jpg)

  • Nobody looks like they could actually skin a squirrel, but I’ll go with number three because she looks like she actually might enjoy eating one.
  • The last guy because he’s insane and would have the know-how to take down and skin something much bigger than a squirrel.
  • Ethan Hawke looks pretty much like a scraggley wood squirrel, so I expect any such creature might mistake him for a long-lost cousin, so the capture would be quick and easy. And since he doesn’t look like he eats much, I wouldn’t go hungry.
  • Howard Cosell, since he’d provide the best color commentary throughout the process: “And now the squirrel’s cautiously approaching the trap. Step by stuttering step he inches ever closer, oblivious to the hideous fate awaiting him. But what’s this? He stands erect, alert, seemingly cognizant of an alarming presence, a dangerous predator, or simply a droning, nasal, self-important voice. Oh, yeah, guess that WAS me who scared him away. Sorry…
  • Obviously, the squirrel would have surrendered himself so The Gipper could eat. And obviously, I’d dine with him and ask him if he could get me into Canada or Switzerland if I needed to go expat on the fly.
  • Either of the two on the far right. They look like they could kill a rabbit with their bare teeth.
  • “Ted Cruz — have you seen him cook bacon on a machine gun? This guy would do all the work, and make it a point of pride to be sure we were fed and then rescued. Also, he’s the most likely to go get help, leaving me blissfully alone in nature to enjoy my roast squirrel.
  • If I were sure about who #4 was, I might pick him. He’s certainly more attractive, and with the beard I’d likely appreciate his politics more. But I can’t be sure of his squirrel-skinning skills. “
  • Clint. He seems like he knows his way around a squirrel.
  • Would Lena Dunham eat squirrel?
  • Werewolf Jack. Because he’s a good hunter
  • Since I only have Reagan, Jojo the Bachelorette and Van Gogh to work with here, it’s really a toss-up.
  • The third person because it looks like she could be easily distracted so I could get more squirrel meat for myself.
  • Cruella De Ville—because this isn’t her first animal-skinning rodeo. We catch the squirrel with some acorns under a box partially held open with a stick that has a string tied to it. Squirrel goes in, we yank the string, Cruella Goes to work. Duh.
  • #3 because her lazy eye would distract me from the fact I was eating a squirrel
  • The guy from Destinos so I could practice my Spanish.
  • Ed Burns seems like a resourceful chap. Assuming that # 4 is, indeed, Ed Burns.
  • Definitely Gordon Lightfoot. He’s Canadian, and I feel as though they naturally would have squirrel capturing skills. It’s simply part of their north country upbringing.
  • The squirrel would have been making a nest in Conan’s beard. He’d probably make the whole squirrel eating experience tolerably funny
  • Sandra Bernhard certainly seems the most capable of rage hunting, that’s for sure. But Dan Rather would be fascinating. Jon Stewart would be the best company BY FAR, but I’m pretty sure we’d have to survive on berries. In terms of how I’d capture the squirrel, I would employ my usual one-two punch of interpretive dance and hypnosis. It might get weird.
  • The last guy who I think is Scott Green is looking pretty were-wolfy (is he reliving his Buffy days?), so I would share the squirrel in hopes he wouldn’t eat me when he transforms.
  • Number 2 looks like she’d be a fair hand at squirrel-nabbing. She’d just stand there and stare it down, and while it was frozen, hypnotized, in her gaze, I’d grab it from behind. Then I would, of course, let her do all the squirrel-skinning; not really my thing, you understand. I can make a decent squirrel stew though.

People, you delight me. These answers made my day. Thank you for riding this rickety coaster with me. I say we press on.

There will be a brief hiatus on the Matthew Draws front, as I am soon to depart for the rapidly melting permafrost. In the mean time, know that you are loved.

Matthew Draws 45

Matthew Draws 45

So here we go again. I can’t tell if the problem this week is whether Matthew chose to draw people completely unfamiliar to me, or whether he’s done a really terrible job drawing people I really ought to recognize.

Either way, he fully deserves the blame.

Have a gander:

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Matthew Draws 44 – The Answers

Matthew Draws 44 – The Answers

Yes, yes, I know I’m late in posting this post. You have told me. I have heard you. Apologies and so on. I am full of excuses but will keep them to myself. Let’s just begin. Right now.

I drew this person.

 

Screen Shot 2016-06-03 at 1.34.50 PM (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Screen-Shot-2016-06-03-at-1 NULL.34 NULL.50-PM NULL.png)

And most of you people were convinced, with all your hearts, that I drew Louis C.K. A few of you offered pleasing praise (or is it better described as shock?).

  • Louis CK in the house!
  • LOUIS! LOUIS! LOUIS!
  • Louis C.K.! It’s Louis C.K.!
  • Louis CK… I’m certain of it. Well done!
  • Louis C.K. with the slightest hint of Walter White.
  • Louis C.K. – how is that even a last name? Can I change my last name to 7.8. ?
  • Louis CK or that guy that’s always at the Royal Farms.
  • Either Louis CK or Louis XIV without his wig

There were a few dissenting opinions:

  • George Carlin
  • Paul Giamatti
  • Bryan Cranston
  • James Gandolfini
  • Richard Karn
  • James Lipton

But the most of you had it in a landslide.

Louis-C.K. (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/jenner NULL.jpg)

Here’s where things got entirely murky.

I drew this person.

Screen Shot 2016-06-03 at 1.35.07 PM (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/jenner NULL.jpg)

So many of you seemed so confident in your guesses.

There was a cluster of support for Katie Couric including “Katie Couric … Channeling Martha Stewart,” and “Katie Couric in a shampoo ad”. A number of you agreed that it must be Jennifer Aniston.

And then there were a bunch of one-offs.

  • (Unbreakable) Ellie Kemper!
  • Meredith Vieira
  • Nancy McKeon from The Facts of Life
  • Chew baca Mom
  • Hoda Kotb. Or not.
  • Bette Midler
  • Young Joan Rivers
  • Matthew’s mom
  • Renee Zellweger
  • Joy Behar
  • Amy Schumer
  • Mayim Bialik
  • It looks like a love child of Jennifer Anniston and Julia Louis Dreyfus?
  • Loretta Switt
  • The twinkle in the eye tells me its Jennifer Aniston.
  • Wow, she looks nice though!
  • Chelsea Handler
  • Rita Wilson
  • Kelly Ripa

One of you thought I’d drawn a man. Really?

  • George Zimmerman

But none of you, NONE of you figured out that I was trying to draw (obviously!) Neve Campbell.

neve_campbell (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/jenner NULL.jpg)

Next up…

Screen Shot 2016-06-03 at 1.35.18 PM (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/jenner NULL.jpg)

Again, there was little consensus. The sheer array of answers was delightful.

  • With that jawline, it has to be Anjelia Huston!
  • Iggy Pop
  • Russel Brand on a serious day
  • Bill Nighy
  • It’s not Patti Smith, but I wish it was.
  • Yikes! Uh, um, ???
  • Iggy pop after a big meal
  • Mrs. Bruce (my vaguely racist grade-school music teacher)
  • Lily Tomlin
  • Hillary Clinton
  • If it weren’t for the strong chin, I’d say Meryl Streep. Maybe if she morphed with Voldemort’s snake, Nagini.
  • Kate Moncrief
  • Jay Leno’s mother?
  • Marilyn Manson
  • France’s McDormand
  • Tough one. I can’t decide between Iggy Pop and Annie Leibowitz sans glasses.
  • I’m not sure, but she seems a little scary
  • Some aging rock star
  • Alice Cooper
  • the witch that I thought lived in my basement when I was little
  • patti smith!! if it isnt it should be.
  • I don’t know but I love the shape of the left eyelid

A few of the guesses strayed in the direction of being correct:

  • Jeffrey Tambor in Transparent
  • Give me a hint … Man or woman? I give up.

But…three of you got it right, including the one of you who felt sheepish in placing your guess:

I kind of feel bad saying this, but Caitlyn Jenner?

Indeed. No need to feel bad. I’m just that good at drawing.

jenner (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/jenner NULL.jpg)

To bring us  down the home stretch, I drew this person:

Screen Shot 2016-06-03 at 1.35.26 PM

Again, your guesses followed no clear theme.

There was a flurry of enthusiasm for the idea that I had drawn Drake.

  • Idris Elba in overalls, apparently.
  • Joe Manganiello
  • Alan Iverson I guess
  • Scarface
  • obviously I should know this one but I don’t
  • Dwayne Wade
  • Michael K. Williams
  • Diddy?
  • The guy who was originally on Scandal but got kicked off
  • Dwyane Wade … Based solely on the tank top
  • No idea.
  • Jared Leto
  • Ummmm…
  • Ming the merciless
  • Zayn Malik
  • Paul Gaugin
  • Contemplative guy with cornrows
  • Kanye

Again, some of them made me laugh audibly.

  • The Black Phantom of the Opera
  • Corn Row Shakespeare
  • I’ve never seen this person. Ever.

Including this, my favorite ever guess in Matthew Draws:

  • spear carrier in an opera

I do not even know what that means. But I love it so much. And now I want to go to an opera.

However, in the wake of all this glorious guessing, just two…JUST TWO! COME ON PEOPLE…of you correctly identified…

  • Oh man, is that Omar from the Wire?
  • Omar Little!

OmarLittle (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/OmarLittle NULL.jpg)

As for my star rating, out of a possible 5, you people gave me a collective 3.375. Do I aspire for greater heights? I do? Am I satisfied for today? You betcha.

And now, for the bonus question/smokebomb, carelessly lobbed by Robbi moments before she ran out of the room:

Please write a rhyming couplet honoring one or all of these fine people.

You fine people certainly didn’t disappoint.

  • Louis’ humor is the bomb
    Ellie’s smile shows her aplomb
    Anjelica, tall and divine
    Elba’s looking mighty fine.
  • Dead-eyed stares, dead-eyed stares,
    Matthew can’t draw, but no one cares.
  • Matthew’s drawing merely mars
    The flawless faces of the stars.
  • Ode to Louis CK XIV
    My forehead, so high,
    Escapes to the skyyyyyyyy
  • Bill Nighy, certainly not of science guy fame;
    Brought the magic to Harry that changed the game.
  • Louis CK, you made my day
    When you called out the Drumpf on his insecurité.
    He’s a bully, a meanie, and a narcissist, too,
    Who can’t tell the truth from a big pile of poo!
  • Matthew’s drawings aren’t rad
    They’re really, really bad
  • Matthew Draws is awesome
    Because all of the women he draws look like the actress who plays Blossom
  • Forehead as bright as the light of day
    Of all four I only knew Louis C.K.
  • “Matthew has some chin drawing issues.
    I laugh, I cry… Please pass the tissues.
  • Oh, to be a subject of “Matthew Draws”
    One must be willing to see their own flaws
  • I could win at Powerball
    Before correctly guessing these all.
  • I named Drake in this quiz
    But I’m not sure who he is.
  • I’ve got nothing left.
    I’m exhausted and I feel bereft.
  • Louis CK, whose bald head I’d like to rub
    To comfort him for that time that kid pooped in his tub.
  • Matthew’s drawings are sublime
    Not unlike this here rhyme
  • I feel pretty sure that the first is CK;
    The second’s eyeliner won’t give her away;
    The third gave me heebies, so onward I moved;
    Ending with Omar’s depiction? So rude.

And, just in case you were wondering if Matthew Draws is a global phenomenon,

  • Recht viel Glück und Judihudi wünsched s’Lineli und s’Trudi.

Apparently, the above is Swiss German. I would so appreciate if some kindly reader would translate. I hate to miss a single disparaging poem about my drawing acumen.

And that’s that. Sorry for the delay in posting. But here’s the good news. Because I am five days late in posting these answers, you only have to wait two days for the next batch of drawings. See you here on Wednesday, you enlightened army of extremely intelligent people who also love wincing.

Matthew Draws 44

Matthew Draws 44

Alright alright, so we’ve been a bit unreliable of late. But guess what? Matthew’s been using this time to really focus on his drawing skillz. Yeah, I KNOW.

So hold on to your seats and take some educated stabs in the dark, because Matthew Draws IS BACK.

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Matthew Draws 43 – The Answers

Matthew Draws 43 – The Answers

You know the drill. You’re grouchy and impatient. I have what you want, and there is no need to be coy.

Let’s dive right in.

 

MD43a (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Charles-Barkley NULL.jpg)

I’m proud of you guys! Many of you were right on track, though others of you provided amusing alternatives to the actual answer.

I did not draw:

  • Jennifer Lawrence in that thing that’s not Game of Thrones
  • Raging hyperthyroid starlet with broadsword on her back
  • Mrs. Smith
  • Raccoon Woman, the newest vigilante superhero
  • Someone from the Game of Thrones
  • Jennifer Lawrence
  • Obviously, kiz-atniss eviz-erdeen
  • Claire Danes
  • J-La, looking hungry & gamey

And then there was the bet hedger, who bridged the gap between wrong and right.

  • Either Anjelina Jolie or Rey in Star Wars

And then there was the person who got it right, but wanted to be sassy about it.

  • Well it’s obviously Rey from Star Wars.

And the person who got it right and wanted to be sassy AND cheerful about it.

  • Rey from Star Wars TFA, pretty clearly — hooray!

And then the rest of you, who just got it right (or almost). Kudos .

  • The Star Wars person
  • Daisy Ridley
  • Rey from the latest Star Wars? Someone else perhaps? Regardless, she’s a badass
  • Princvess Leia without the ear muffs
  • Daisy Ridley/Rey
  • Rey
  • Rey!

Screen Shot 2016-03-14 at 1.13.37 PM (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Charles-Barkley NULL.jpg)

And then, this fellow.

MD43b (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/MD43b NULL.jpg)

Most of you correctly identified the gender and ethnicity of my subject, so bully for you. The exact identity of this African American male person was more elusive.

First off, the arrows that failed to find the target:

Two of you guessed either a white male or a male ogre.

  • Billy Zane
  • Shrek in a suit

Or a Siamese monarch

  • The King of Siam??

As for the black dudes I did not draw:

  • Montel Williams
  • Don Lemon
  • Hannibal Buress? No, he usually has glasses and squints. Um. Dwayne Johnson? maybe?
  • Charles Barkley
  • Steve Harvey
  • Mike Tyson, after Evander Holyfield got even
  • Glynn Washington?
  • Cory Booker

A few of the guesses defied neat demographic classification:

  • Baldy McBeaverTeeth
  • Wow, OK…

But a blessed handful of you people correctly identified:

  • Charles Barkley

One with a pleasing mixture of pride and shock:

  • Charles Barkley (OMG I TOTALLY JUST PULLED THAT NAME OUT OF MY ASS!)

Charles-Barkley (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Charles-Barkley NULL.jpg)

As for person #3, I must admit I threw you a challenge. Not because my drawing is so bad (which it surely is), but because this person is less well known to the general public than most of my subjects (though he is near and dear to me).

MD43c (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/MD43c1 NULL.jpg)

 

I get the sense that you tried. And I thank you for that. But here the pursuit of truth was elusive. Steve Carrell was the closest thing we had to a plurality.

  • Swami Berman
  • ShrunkenHead RippedEar
  • Someone Russian
  • Nathan Lane?
  • Kevin Spacey
  • No idea, but he will haunt my nightmares tonight.
  • Some poor guy with a melting earlobe. Or Harvey Keitel.
  • Phil Rizzuto
  • That sportscaster who thought that nobody would notice his Salvador Dali melting clock ear
  • The ears are screaming Ross Perot.
  • No clue
  • His face is so frightening that his ear is trying to abandon ship. Or Robin Williams.
  • Steve Carell
  • No earthly clue, but, wow, he should have that ear looked at by a doctor
  • Howard Cosell
  • Steve Carrell
  • John Kasich

Am I the only one who thinks the incorrect guesses are so much more satisfying than the ones that hit the mark?

The one of you who got it right expressed hesitancy.

  • Is this Coach K? If it is, NC fans will thank you for making him look like the weird bird they keep telling you he looks like. Who, apparently, has also been attacked by a pit bull.

Please, people. All I ask is for conviction. When placing your guesses, go big. Go bold.

But I digress. Yes indeed. This person is none other than the coach of the greatest basketball team of all time. Mike Krzyewski. Of the 2017 national champion Duke Blue Devils.

149911_team_managers022 (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Krzyzewski-Mike-2011-12 NULL.jpg)

You would think that subject #4, being a woman, would throw you all into a tailspin. My ineptness at rendering the female face has been documented for many years now. And yet! And yet…

MD43d (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/MD43d NULL.jpg)

Many of your guesses were spot on, filling my heart with something like pride.

We’ll start with the misses.

  • Shirley Mclaine?
  • Mia farrow
  • Lily Tomlin
  • The terrifying love child of Joan Rivers and Lily Tomlinson
  • Joan Rivers
  • Joan Didion
  • Angola Mourkle
  • A melting person
  • Muffy Crosswire (As a divorced, 49 year old, Sr. White House correspondent).

I love the Muffy Crosswire guess. For those of you who did not know (I count myself among this group), Muffy is a character from the world of Arthur, a children’s book series.

April_9th_67 (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/April_9th_67 NULL.jpg)

But I did not draw Muffy. Not today. Not ever.

And then there was the proverbial waffler, who just happened to snare the correct answer in a too-large net.

  • Sissy Spacek or Mick Jagger. I’m having a really hard time deciding, which is probably not good news for either of them.

“But which one is it?” you may be asking. Your wait is over. Because why prolong the suspense?

Plenty of you nailed it, but I will pick my favorite version of the correct answer.

  •  Sissy Spacek! Way to go!

Sissy_Spacek_featured_photo_gallery (http://robbiandmatthew NULL.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Sissy_Spacek_featured_photo_gallery NULL.jpg)

As for this week’s star rating, I earned a respectable? 3.5 out of 5. Will I take it? Oh yes. It’s closer to the top and bottom. Am I satisfied? Hell no! I will keep drawing and drawing until I earn a perfect 5. And then, my friends. I will draw some more.

And now for my favorite part of the Matthew Draws experience, in which you answer a question or challenge posed by Robbi. This week, she served up a tough one.

Write an ode to the lips of one (or more!) of these fabulous people. We will use all of our Hollywood insider contacts to get them into the hands of the actual celebrities shown.

But man oh man did you people come through. Let me count the ways:

  • Would that you had lips, miss Spacek,
    I am sure they would thrill.
    Alas, I shall spend my days
    Dreaming of someone else.
  • Matthew what hubris
    in rendering these lips:
    wide, pursed or wary
    they’re all kind of scary.
    But none can compete
    with 3’s crescent and teeth
    pinning in place
    his entire sad face
    from beady pin eyes
    to what must be a tie.
    And what’s with the nose
    and the wandering earlobe?
    Enough of this morass!
    I must go teach class.
    Your collection of freaks
    would fit with those in Geek
    Love, the book we are reading
    (despite my students’ pleading).
  • J-Law’s lips are so divine
    Spacek’s lips are thin and fine
    Barkley has a pillow pout
    Mr. White’s lips often shout (Keitel in Reservoir Dogs)
  • Your lips are so weird and scary,
    One of you may be more hairy,
    Matthew has tried,
    We have sighed,
    And you’ve all been visited by the ugly fairy.
  • If Sissy Spacek’s lips were any wider
    Her parents would’ve had to hide her
    Lucky for her she’s smart
    And doesn’t give a fart
    For those who can’t abide her.

A couple of you wrote Haiku:

  • Lips are quite luscious.
    They kiss and they help us talk.
    Ross Perot’s ears kill.
  • You’re big, you’re small, you’re
    In between. The nicest lips
    I have ever seen.

And here’s to the person who had the good sense to know when the challenge was too great. I do respect a person who knows his/her limits.

  • Pass to next week… I don’t like the place ‘rhymes with lips’ is taking me…

For that, I shall also pass to next week. I have a life to live. Children to feed. Drawings to do. Thanks, everyone, for being a part of my favorite part of the week.

 

 

 

Matthew Draws 43

It’s that time of week again! Matthew is back with some doozies, but all things considered, I’m starting to worry that his drawing skills are just getting too good. I wouldn’t say he’s any better at capturing likenesses, but I do think I’m starting to see more evidence of technical savvy in some of the pinpoint pupils and collapsing shoulders. That odd mangled ear just shatters the rose-colored glasses, though. Steel yourselves for it now…

And guess away!

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