One of my late-night guilty pleasures is looking at real estate. I know, I know. I love my barn and I love Chestertown. I guess that’s why it’s guilty. But you wouldn’t believe what you can buy for $17,000 in the backwoods of West Virginia. Or in the mountains in Vermont 5 miles from the Canadian border.

There is a property I have always coveted in the Berkshires where I went to college. In fact, one of my favorite art professors happened to own it. I had actually coveted the property long before I knew he owned it, though. I just got an email from him saying it was up for sale, since he’s retiring (sniff!) and moving west. Though I don’t have large amounts of money burning a hole in my pocket, you can bet that I perused the sale website with giant eyes.

First off, IT’S A BARN. And you know how I feel about barns. The big beams! The open floor plan!

Take the living room, for example.

Sigh. Our barn could look so good, if only we could keep it clean!

And the wood! Barns are full of wood! Or, they should be, anyway. This one is, anyway.

Much like our barn, the living room runs into the dining room, the dining room runs into the kitchen, they all run into one giant stretch of hominess. The difference here is that their kitchen is not some bang-up ikea job with moldering wood countertops.

But the real secret to this property is that it is owned by two artists. Which means ample space for two studios. Which makes my head spin with desire.

Do you notice how there isn’t a bed in that studio? How there is room for painting and computing (and not on the same repurposed ikea side table?)? Sure, if you aren’t an artist, you could turn this into, say, a racetrack for your cats or a garage for your 8 Volkswagen buses or a giant foam pit for the marauding hordes of children – but THAT WOULD BE STUPID. It’s obviously the perfect studio. And this is just one of the studios.

In case none of this has swayed any of you to go purchase (so that I can visit whenever I’d like), the final blow has got to be this:

Yep. A sauna. A beautiful wood-stoked sauna. It would be tough to know whether I would spend more time in the sauna or in the studio.

And, okay, if you’re curious about the exterior, it’s got a beautiful yard and is located mere minutes from excellent theatre, free lectures, great art museums, beautiful hiking trails and a perfect simple stew of a college town situated in a particularly gorgeous valley.

Frankly, I feel like this place is our virtual doppelganger, except where we fall in the “brilliant and lowbrow” quadrant, this one definitely falls in the “brilliant and highbrow”. Though I am free to covet, my heart really is in this lowbrow barn of ours.

And so I freely give you all permission to contact Ed and put your bids in on this better, shinier property. Or have a look at all the details HERE and collectively drool. But seriously, if any of you buy the place, you are required to invite me up, if only for a steam in the sauna.