I have some very exciting news for you guys.

I’m a STAR!

Isn’t that exciting?!

You might be wondering how I know I’m a STAR. Here’s how:
I have been invited to be one of the STARS in Chestertown’s annual fundraiser Dance With the Stars.

Yes, you heard me right. I will be shaking my booty to raise money for the local chapter of Horizons, a summer learning program that helps disadvantaged elementary students bridge the gap between grades over the summer. The Dance With the Stars fundraiser is their biggest event, run by a veritable army of amazing volunteers.

We (the various stars of Chestertown) were invited to a kickoff event, in which we were schooled in the ways of Dance With the Stars and matched up with our [professional! dancing!] partners. We were also fed copious amounts of delicious food, to lull us into forgetting that none of us knows how to dance.

Horizons director Connie Schroth was perfectly willing to ham it up, knowing full well that all of us stars will be looking twice as ridiculous at the main event.

Once we were fed and sedated, they told us how this whole thing is going to work. We listened carefully.

(those of you who are Chestertonians might notice my main competition, Professor Bob Gillin, second from the right. FIE! FIE ON YOU, BOB!! (actually, having grown up here, I feel weird calling him Bob. I call him Doctor Gillin, thank you very much.))

Here’s the way it works: it costs a dollar for every vote. People can vote online ahead of time, or come to the actual event itself, on Saturday, January 19th (mark your calendars!!!). General admission is $75 (it’s a fundraiser, after all) so start saving up. Votes are tallied throughout the evening, and if your team is in the top three, there’s a dance-off.

I intend to take this shit by storm.

It turns out my partner is the honorable Mark Pagano, owner of Eastern Shore Tang Soo Do and 4th degree black belt – so we are both fully prepared to kick some ass.

We look super intimidating, don’t we?

On our first meeting in Mark’s dojo, I surveyed his huge collection of trophies.

(that’s only half of them)

I assured him that I had a similar set of trophies at home in my studio.

We spent some time discussing my dance skills (or lack thereof) and our general strategy for our dance (entertain! look foolish! SMILE!) and wrangled with some ideas for what we thought we could pull off. This is what we came up with.

Yup. I’m going to be doing the horse dance for your viewing pleasure come January 19th. If you’ve seen enough here already, just skip to the fundraising and VOTE FOR ME HERE!! I’ll keep you posted with updates as I start learning some moves.

OPPA GANGNAM STYLE!