If you are the sort of person who loves other people and enjoys demonstrating that love by presenting thoughtful gifts to commemorate certain winter holidays, but who, owing to your busy, cosmopolitan lifestyle, sometimes forgets to acquire or send those gifts in a timely manner, please know that the answer to your problems is a mere click away.
For only $60, you can give a subscription to Idiots’Books—six actual illustrated books sent via US Postal Service every other month throughout the year. By giving a subscription, you can ensure that your loved one knows exactly how much you care about them six separate times throughout the next twelve months. In this way, subscriptions are particularly effective gifts for attractive yet elusive potential mates you are trying to woo through relentless persistence. Or for the grandmother you know you should write but never quite remember to.
Though certain to please at any time of year, a subscription to Idiots’Books is particularly appealing at Christmastime because you can wait until 11:59pm on Christmas Eve to order one and still get full credit from your loved one. Should you find yourself without a gift at the eleventh hour, just place your order, then write me an email explaining your predicament, and I will write a customized email to your loved one, letting them know what a fantastic person you are, how generous you are to be giving them such a fantastic holiday gift, and how lucky they are to have earned your attention and regard.
If my note results in your finally winning the heart of that special someone, I expect to be invited to the wedding. Provided you will be having an ample buffet.
Of course, we also sell a bunch of books, shirts, and baby garb, too.
Feeling thoroughly tainted by my unwholesome adventure in overt holiday marketing, I will now indulge you with a photo of a child.
