I know that some of you have grown impatient waiting for the answers to Matthew Draws II, and in truth, I do not blame you. I have been dragging my feet, and why, I cannot say. Perhaps it is due to a full plate or to Alden’s recent discovery of the word “no.” But, in truth, I’m guessing it might have more to do with my reluctance to face the bewilderment and outrage many of you are sure to feel when I reveal the true identities of our unlucky subjects. I fear my pen failed me, or perhaps I failed my pen, in attempting to successfully render a person who many believe to be the hottest babe of all time.
Without further ado:
Here was my first sketch.
15 of you correctly guessed Lyle Lovett, while 13 guessed Conan O’Brien. Some of the more colorful wrong answers included Bill Clinton, Hugh Grant, Cosmo Kramer, David Lynch, Harrison Ford, Bedhead Robbi, and “one of the Kennedy men.”
And here’s the photo I worked from.
My second sketch:
I was actually not unhappy with the way this one turned out, and at least a few of you correctly identified the lovely lady above as Dolly Parton, 8 of you, to be exact. I particularly appreciated the extended answer, “Dolly Parton (real sneaky not including those knockers).” Courtney Love was the runner up with 4 votes, followed by Joan Rivers with 3. The long list of other guesses includes Barbara Streisand, Cindy Lauper, Glenn Close (Fatal Attraction), J.K. Rowling, Kathy Griffin, Some Leathery Female, The Joker, and Medusa.
Ouch.
Here is the real live Dolly (sans knockers).
My third sketch is the source of greatest shame.
In spite of the hatchet job I did in attempting to render history’s best-known sexpot, 12 of you correctly guessed that this is Marilyn Monroe. Madonna was the runner-up with 6 votes (one including the following editorial enhancement: Unfit Pre-Yoga Madness Madonna). Other guesses included Barbara Bush, Brigitte Neilson circa Celebrity Rehab, Chesty LaRue, Female Bevis, Lady Gaga, Aileen Wuornos, and Napoleon Dynamite with a Sweet Rack.
Oh Marilyn, how sorry I am. You really were much prettier back in the day.
My final drawing:
That this was my worst drawing is evidenced by the small number of correct guesses. This is, in fact, my attempt to render our nation’s 43rd Commander in Chief. My personal politics notwithstanding, the man deserves to be more ably drawn. But I digress. Four of you correctly identified George W. Bush, while three of you guessed that I had drawn Mr. Rogers. The litany of other wrong answers included such figures as Bob Dole, Brian Williams, Tom Brokaw, Al Gore, Harrison Ford, Jimmy Stewart, Jeeves, Matt Lauer, Johnny Carson, Rodney Dangerfield, Sam Donaldson, Tweedy McTweederson, and Robbi.
Come to think of it, it’s probably a toss-up whether I’ve more gravely offended from-the-grave Marilyn Monroe or my own wife. Is it worth to be mistaken for Aileen Wuornos or George W. Bush? I’d post a poll, but I’m guessing I already know the answer.
Let it also be known that the most popular answer to question number 5: “Who is the awesomest” was ROBBI with 8 votes (really 10, if you count “you are” and “you, of course”). Which just goes to show that even if someone thinks I look like Dubya, I can still rock it.
Alden, Kato, Iggy, Tarzan, me, me! and me. were all runners-up.
Now that I know who they are, I think you did a good job. Granted, the only one I guessed was Lovett, because he really is spot on. Marilyn is a little askew somewhere around the mouth and teeth, but still, all in all, pretty impressive.
Do you do these in one sitting, or do you start with pencil and/or do several sketches?
Clare:
My “technique”:
1) grab pen and paper
2) google people on list of names Robbi sends
3) spend 45 seconds rendering each
4) hand paper to Robbi for scanning
I draw from a place of pure impulse and haste. This is also how I write. And eat. And raise my children.
Hopefully they turn out better than my Marilyn.
Matthew