It has been more than two weeks now since Robbi posted the third installment of Matthew Draws. My apologies for the long delay. I have no good excuses.

Without delay, here was my first attempt:

This was without a doubt my most successful drawing to date. All but one of you correctly guessed that this handsome fellow is the Dali Lama, one of you even offering his full name: The Dali Lama, Tenzin Gyatso. Know this, overachiever, everyone resents you for knowing too much. The only incorrect answer was “Mr. Miyagi from Karate Kid,” for which I have to award some style points, at the least.

Next up:

As successful as my Dali Lama was, this drawing negated all my good drawing Karma. In fact, only two of you correctly guessed that this was David Hasselhoff. Do I blame those seven of you who guessed Will Ferrel? I do not. Nor are the six of you who guessed Julia child wrong for doing so. Other acceptably wrong answers included Donny Osmond, John Travolta, Art Garfunkel, Elton John, Hugh Grant, Janet Reno, John C. Reilly, Mike Brady, Nathan Lane, The Fonz, and Pat from Saturday Night Live.

Here he is, much maligned, but always awesome.

My third drawing was somewhat more successful:

Almost all of you correctly guessed Barbara Streisand, one of you even adding that it was Babs “with nose job.”

Some other wrong but noteworthy guesses include: Christine Baranski, Ann Coulter, Jennifer Aniston, Joan Rivers, Kelly Ripa, Toni Colette, and “I think this lady is a talk show host.” I would like to give a prize to this final response, but unfortunately I can’t.

Someone also guessed Jerry Seinfeld, but I think that person must have been drinking.

Babs in her glory.

And now to the one I would like to forget altogether, the one I would like to sweep under the carpet and pretend never happened.

My problem, I now understand, was starting with the teeth. My second problem was drawing them so badly. Once I was stuck with those awful teeth, this fellow never had a chance. Yes, this is a fellow, a conclusion that less than half of you reached. Again, I cannot blame you. I let you down, and for that I am sorry.

This poor fellow I’ve treated so badly is American snowboarding sensation Shaun White. For the first time in the history of Matthew Draws, none of you guessed correctly, though one of you did get close with, “Marie Osmond, or possibly Shaun White.” This awful drawing yielded the largest number of different wrong answers of any drawing to date. I would bore you to list them all, but my favorites include: Mick Jagger, Joan Rivers (apparently, she looks like everyone), Courtney Love, Rod Stewart, Ally Sheedy, Bette Midler (really?), David Bowie, Meg Ryan (now, that’s just mean), Jane Fonda, Jon Bon Jovi, Marilyn Manson, Steven Tyler, that guy from “Mask: – 80’s Cher movie, and Toothy van Shoulder.

This last guess is my redemption. I am not sorry to have so mangled poor Shaun White’s likeness if it led to the birth of Toothy van Shoulder, a character surely worthy of his own book, or perhaps his own series of books. By the time Toothy gets his due, the world will long have forgotten the meager accomplishments of Shaun White. When that day comes to pass, I’ll draw a picture of Toothy van Shoulder, and my likeness will be so awful that all of you will guess that it’s Shaun White. That’s how things go. I’m just not very good at this.

Too bad for you, I refuse to shrink from my shortcomings. Stay tuned for Matthew Draws IV, to be posted as soon as Robbi can think of four more names. Meaning, I wouldn’t hold your breath.