Once again, I have waited too long to tell you the answers to Matthew Draws, in this case installment XV. This time, I’m not going to apologize. It must be getting old.
Let’s get to it then, shall we?
Several of you got this right, which cheers me. Others of you got this wrong. Most of you seemed to recognize that the fellow is bald. Answers ranged from “The guy from Breaking Bad” to Ben Kingsley to Shaquille “Shazam!” O’Neal, to Samuel L. Jackson to Howie Mandel to “a mysteriously bald John Travolta.” One of you simply resorted to despair, saying “I don’t know enough celebrities to play this game.”
As four of you surmised, my subject was Montel Williams, though I’m sure he’d prefer that you hadn’t found a likeness between my drawing and this photo.
Next up, this little treat:
The answers covered more ground this time, which is not surprising, given my consistent struggles with accurate drawings of pretty young things. She is not, I’m afraid, Jen Aniston, Joan Jett, Katie Couric, Lady Gaga, Victoria Beckham, Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Alba, Kylie Minogue, Nancy Pelosi, Reese Witherspoon, or Meredith Viera. One of you (I suspect it was the despairer from above) mused “Maybe I should start reading People magazine?” To which I say, maybe I should start taking art classes.
Interestingly, three of you guessed Courtney Love, which is not correct, and none of you guessed Hillary Duff, which is.
As if to throw you a bone, I offered this fellow:
This was, I think, the first time every single person correctly identified a “Matthew Draws” drawing. You were so confident in your guesses, in fact, or else so bored by my failure to present an actual challenge, that several of you got cute, as in: “G Dub” Washington, Geo Wash!, Boy George, “the guy from the back of a quarter,” and “A churlish cherry-tree chopper.”
And then, of course, the requisite disaster. There always seems to be one:
This is not Nicole Kidman, Eva Longoria, Alanis Morisette, Ke$ha, Lana Del Ray, Sarah Jessica Parker, Eva Mendez, Amy Winehouse (though I kind of see it), Kristen Stewart, Sandra Bernhard, “poor Lindsay Lohan,” “the butch chick from Facts of Life,” or “someone from American Idol, maybe? Whats-her-face? The whiny, angry one?”
No, friends, this is none other than the sweet and melodic Shanaia Twain, who does not, I’m sure, feel much like a woman after seeing my drawing.
As for Robbi’s bonus question: Which of these people did your mother warn you about when you were little, and why?
Here are my favorite responses. You people are funny.
- George Washington, b/c he was already dead, so if I saw him again I better run.
- George Washington. Haven’t you heard the song? He saves children, but not the British children. Also, he’s 12 stories high and made of radiation. (Cause for alarm.) ://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbRom1Rz8OA
- Walter White. Or, possibly, Montel Williams. Or maybe Howie Mandel? “”Tis easier for a rich man to pass through the eye of a camel than for a bald man to enter the kingdom of heaven,” Mom always said.
- V-neck goatee sweater man, because he makes me want to talk about my feelings about my mother.
- George Washington, cherry tree
- Courtney Love, because she’s batshit crazy.
- Kristen Stewart. Shen she warned me not to make out in parked cars.
- Well, anyone whose head rests at that angle is a little suspicious. But perhaps my mother would have simply had me take the poor girl to a chiropractor.
- Posh Spice eats babies.
I had no idea about Posh. I thank you for warning me. As a devoted Spice Girls fan, I will probably not be able to stop listening to their music, but I may rethink my long-held dream to see one of their concerts.
As always, people, thanks for participating in Matthew Draws. More to come when the spirit moves me.
