I just received a very exciting email. Things are about to change in Chestertown:
My Name is Mr,Lewis Slim Helu jr, I have the intention to invest in your home town but I don’t know anybody that can help me to execute this plan when I come over to your country ,This is the simple reason Iam contacting you to know if you can be able to assist me in championing this venture to the best of our benefit.
If your are interested,I have the sum of $30M Dollars created aside that I intended to invest in your country profitable. So if you are capable to handle this transaction kindly get back to me to enable us discuss and workout the modalities.
Waiting to hear from you, for further informations and confidentiality please contact me on my personal email
address: [address removed for confidentiality, ed.]Regards,
Mr,Lewis Slim Helu jr
$30M DOLLARS! I certainly will champion this venture to the best of our benefit. And I can’t wait to discuss the modalities. Exciting! We could pretty much buy every single property in Chestertown for that amount. So long, Idiots’Books. Hello, real estate tycoon, slum lord, robber baron.
In other news, what the hell???
Please tell me their “Hot Topics” algorithm pulls only from searches by kids 18 and under. Or that Kim Kardashian just discovered a cure for cancer. Oy.
This sounds like an Idiots’Book in the making to me. I look forward to hearing more about the adventures of Mr, Lewis Slim Helu jr. on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. Good luck writing down to this level, Matthew.