I need your support here, people. Robbi and I are having a disagreement, and perhaps you can help us settle the score.
As she often does when she is traveling near large cities with well-stocked Asian supermarkets, Seiko called us the other day asking if we needed anything. I overheard Robbi requesting “some rice vinegar, a bag of frozen gyoza, and some citron tea.”
“Citron tea?” I thought to myself. “Sounds delicious.”
When Seiko arrived with our goods, I easily identified the vinegar and gyoza, but then this strange jar appeared on the counter. It appeared to be full of really hearty marmalade.
“What’s this?” I asked, “And where is that delicious-sounding citron tea I’ve spent all afternoon looking forward to?”
Robbi urged me to take a closer look at the label, at which point I discovered the exact nature in which I’d been duped.
Robbi has recently sworn off desserts—and sugar, in general—a decision that has improved her overall health and disposition. Given her general enthusiasm for sweets, I have been somewhat surprised at the ease with which she has made the change. But now I know the truth. This whole “citron tea” racket is her covert and clever strategy for getting her sugar fix with a clear conscience. “Citron tea” is basically marmalade with a few sprigs of dried tea thrown in for good measure.
The “tea” is made by putting a heaping spoonful of the sugary goop into a cup of boiling water. Because a tiny amount of actual tea matter does, at some point, touch the boiling water, thus releasing a trace amount of “tea” into the liquid sugar explosion, the resulting substance is technically “tea” while tasting like a party in your mouth. It’s a brilliant strategy.
Those clever Koreans.
That crafty Robbler.
So what is the disagreement?
More importantly, do you think citron tea would help me kick my Coca-Cola habit?
Jessica:
Yes, it would—while turning you into a devious, self-deluded liar that lies.
Matthew
I was wondering the same thing – where’s the disagreement? I don’t see any, although I do see (accidental) deception, leading you to be fooled into expecting the tea that we’re more familiar with. I agree that this looks like jam or preserves. I remain suspicious of it.
Also, not to point out faults, but you’ve used the common type “desert” (as in the vast Sahara) instead of “dessert.” Although perhaps Robbi has sworn of deserts, too.
And hey – my math question is actually almost hard this time. What’s that about?
Don:
Fie on you for not universally condemning Robbi’s position.
Thanks to the beauty of blog editing software, there is absolutely no evidence to support your libelous assertion that I ever spelled “dessert” wrong, which I didn’t, of course.
Don: FYI, I have also sworn off deserts. Mostly because I don’t want there to be any occasion in which hot citron tea might be considered inappropriate.
Mmmm, looks good to me. I need to swear off desserts too (sigh). Maybe that would help. So far I’ve managed to stop putting honey in my coffee. Which I miss dreadfully.
And hey…”Robbler”? Term of endearment?
I choose to think of it as “hot watered down preserves” more so than “tea.” But either way, it would be inappropriate in deserts, I agree. But you know what would be good in deserts? Ice water. Not very imaginative, I realize, but true.
So can we see a photo of the ingredients label, if it’s available in English?
I want to know what it tastes like? Is it like hot orange juice?
I’m living in Korea at the moment, and a friend has been trying to convince me to drink this so-called tea. She says it’s great for colds. I’m a little suspicious because I don’t have a cold. Also, before I came to Korea I thought I loved all teas, but I was so sadly mistaken. Have you had barley tea? It tastes like grass in a cup. If cows drank tea, they would drink barley tea. I share your skepticism about Korean tea. I bet Koreans don’t even drink it. They’re probably laughing their butts off watching me make faces.
I actually witnessed Robbi make up this concoction. I didn’t try it myself but went running home (next door) to try it with my raspberry jelly. I think I’m on to something…very little.
Everyone: IT IS DELICIOUS. Don’t let Matthew fool you. Yesterday, he was sucking it down like there was no tomorrow (lucky for us, he was proven wrong). Basically any of you can try it by going to your local grocery store and buying a tart marmalade, though. YUMM.
Aubrey: Barley is very different from citron. That’s like saying, “Have you had beefy jerky tea?” I mean, really. That being said, I actually HAVE had barley tea (my mother insists on its health benefits) – and strangely enough, it’s much better cold, on ice, in the middle of a desert. Luckily, I’ve sworn off deserts.
James: what were you doing lurking around my house? I’ve got to keep a better eye out.
Note: for those of you who actually believe I’ve sworn off sugar, see:
http://idiotsbooks.com/?p=4643
So much for my swearing.