I recently received a coupon in the mail. Probably because I had signed up for some rewards program at the register to get 10% off my purchase with the small caveat that I would be dooming thousands of trees to afterlives of junk mail. I hate when I do that.
But I thought to myself, “Huh. 20%. That’s not too bad. I could probably use that. Say, on some toys. Or diapers. Or formula. Or my favorite Ameda milk storage bags. Or a new Aprica stroller, or even a Baby Jogger. Maybe I could put it towards that BOBgear bike trailer. Or a Bugaboo carrier. Maybe a Cybex car seat. Or a Mamas & Papas high chair. Or a Peg Perego double wide stroller, now that we’ve got two little ones. On the other hand, I could use it for myself – maybe a new Playstation, or that new Mario Brothers game, or even a TV. Maybe an iPod for all the running I’ll be doing with my new double wide stroller. Or a netbook (once I find out just what that is). I could get a little RobotGalaxy rover for Matthew. Or, he might not like that, so maybe I should get him a regular old gift card instead. But, of course, there’s the off chance that I might get preggo again, and then I really ought to have some new maternity clothes handy. Of course, any of these things ought to be purchased with care, so maybe I should just get the discount on a Buyer Protection plan. But that would be silly, because 20% off of a whole photo studio has got to be a huge savings, dollars-wise. And I think they have those in stock at the R’Us. Of course, I could just call my order in, or special order something that my local store doesn’t carry. Something that might require assembly. Or, I could rent a breast pump, because doesn’t everyone need one of those, just for, you know, a couple days at a time here and there? Of course, the greatest savings on all this stuff might actually be on the delivery fee, or the shipping and handling. All of this could really add up.”
And the list goes on and on (and on!).
But then, I happened to turn the card over, and discovered the fine print.
All my dreams. Shattered. That coupon really is only worth its cash value.
Jeebus Melbo, what does it cover? I got one of those myself (actually about seven hundred thousand by now) and I was going to use it on diapers until I discovered how cheaply Amazon.com sells them (cheap! and 15% off cheap if you subscribe and let them send it automatically! and another 15% off if you join their Amazon Mom program, which is free to join and gives you 3 months of Amazon prime! ), so I never got around to using the coupon.
Not that I could use it anyway, seeing as it’s not valid on anything.
Now THAT is funny. (Mother of a 3 year old and 18 month old)
What the hell??? That’s ridiculous! Hilarious post.
So it’s a coupon for nothing???