Sometime in childhood I developed an affinity for Chap Stick. To this day, I am seldom without it. I tell you this for context. I’ve gone through a lot of Chap Stick over the past 35 years, always thinking of it as a relatively affordable item, a small price to pay for the wholesome comfort it provides.
Standing at the checkout line today, I noticed Chap Stick display. While admiring the neatly stacked rows of my favorite flavor, “Loose Cherry,” I noticed the “by the pound” price for the first time. I must admit, I was taken aback.
I often use the “by the pound” price to decide whether it’s worth buying a larger jar of a given item (be it applesauce or tuna fish) in order to get a better unit price. But as long as I can remember, tubes of Chap Stick have come only in one size (or should I say weight?), the elegant and compact .15oz cylinder. There has never been a reason (or opportunity) to think of Chap Stick in any relative sense. Chap Stick just is. Consequently, I’ve never before thought twice about paying $1.50 for a tube of the stuff. In fact, I always thought I was getting a deal. But when I saw the “by the pound price,” I realized just how costly a habit I’ve been leaning on for all these years.
I look back now with sadness and regret, wondering of the countless wealth I might have amassed had I not spent a lifetime squandering ounces and ounces of chap stick in the arguably vainglorious pursuit of well-moistened lips.
I’d like to change my ways, but I’m afraid it’s too late. I tell this tale that others might learn from my mistakes.
But think how long a tube of Chapstick lasts–like forever. I think I’ve had the same tube in my purse for the last two years. So that dollar fifty really stretches. And would you rather have chapped lips?
Side note: When I was a child my friends and I used to dare each other to eat Chapstick. That’s a more expensive habit.
Alden eats my Chap Stick whenever she can. Part of why I go through several tubes a week and that $1.50 keeps adding up.
Aubrey – I needed no dares. Back in the day, they only had orange and cherry as exotic flavors. It was better than butter. Mmmm. But the smell of plain old unflavored chapstick still makes me gag. It tastes like Crisco, which is decidedly NOT yummy.
I’m addicted to Burt’s Bees lip balm. I don’t go anywhere without it, I swear. It is the first thing I make sure I have if I change handbags…over a brush, over lipstick, over money. I do not eat it though.
Clare:
Thank you for your bold expression of solidarity. I wish you lived closer so that we could have a support group. Or so that I could borrow yours if I run out.
Matthew