I woke up this morning to find a surprising object on the front porch.
My keen powers of deductive reasoning lead me to believe it has something to do with bread, because:
a) we live next to a bakery
and
b) it smells vaguely of things that have been baked.
For the sake of this post, I will refer to the object as a “baking paddle.”
But there are so many questions to be answered:
1) Why was the baking paddle left on the porch?
2) Is it a gift?
3) If so, what am I to do with it?
4) Is it a threat?
5) If so, who is threatening me?
6) Is Doug the Baker threatening me?
7) If so, how could I have so profoundly misjudged his character (Doug the Baker seems so genial)?
8) Is, perhaps, Doug the Baker threatening Robbi instead of me?
9) If so, how can I defend her? Doug the Baker has powerful biceps.
10) Is the baking paddle, perhaps an invitation to join a secret society of bakers?
11) If so, will there be onerous hazing rituals? Will I pass them?
12) Even if I do, the question remains: why have I been included? Do the secret bakers know I cannot bake? Is, perhaps, my utter lack of baking prowess somehow intriguing to them? Will they mock me when they discover the true depths of my ignorance of baking?
13) Is this, perhaps, not a baking paddle at all, but another type of paddle entirely?
It’s entirely possible.
If you have any clues that might lead to the solving of this mystery, please let me know. And if you see Doug the Baker approaching the barn in a threatening way, could you please do your best to distract him until we can seek cover?
It’s a kids paddle. Size 3X
It’s called a “peel”- I guess because you peel your burned pizza or bread out of the oven with it. Dust it with a bit of flour and it will work like a charm. Have no fear!
Picture #2 has MADE MY DAY. Especially the slippers.
What if it’s a threat to your children? What if, like in Hansel & Gretel, someone wants to cook your children? Is Doug the Baker a child-cooker?
I’m scared for you. And also a little scared of you.
Those slippers need something…maybe some bunny ears, and button-eyes would make them complete.
( I used to use a paddle like that when I was a pizza slinger in college. I think the handle might have been a little longer though…to get them in and out of the back of the oven.)
Me thinks he remains genial. Perhaps in an effort to show his friendliness he left some yummy baked item on the peel outside of the barn hoping to surprise you with his generosity but the neighborhood scamp procured said goods during his daily rounds.
Is Billy in C-town?
Clare: I’m totally going to put eyes on it. He’s dropping his Dad and stepmom off at the airport right now. Done and done!
Ming: I think the neighborhood scamp is probably Bob. I’m definitely going to check his breadbox.
Maybe Iggy knows. Did you ask Iggy?