I go to the grocery store a lot. Almost every day, it seems. It’s a good way to get the kids out of the house and out of Robbi’s hair for an hour or so. Because I go there so often, I know the layout of the Superfresh fairly well. I don’t often need to look at the signs above the aisles. Especially in the dairy aisle. Everyone knows what they’ll find in the dairy aisle, right?
For whatever reason, I looked up in the store today. Perhaps I was stretching my neck. Who can say? In any case, I noticed the Aisle 14 sign for the first time and was taken aback by what I found there.
Generally, parallel items within a system of classification consist of like terms, but just like that game we all used to play when watching Sesame Street, one of these things is not like the other.
I really want to know what sort of conversation led to the creation of this sign. I wonder about the thinking involved. Was there consensus around the table or was there rigorous debate? Were heated words exchanged? Did anybody curse? Was there a group of dissenters who argued that real cheese should get the nod over its hyper-processed cousin? Did some visionary soul fall on his pike for the sake of the Velveeta?
Who can say? All we have is the aftermath.
But what’s really bugging me, above all else: what are we to make of the asterisk?
The asterisk is because Cheese Whiz is not real food.
Jessica:
If you insist on telling malicious lies, please do it on someone else’s blog.
Matthew
I think the sheep put it there.
One wonders.
Here are some possible scenarios. I will employ the asterisk as a form of tribute to the Superfresh modus operandi.
*A simple explanation might be that Superfresh has a new person on the payroll…a cheese expert (albeit with a catchy title) stationed on the dairy aisle (duh). Perhaps he or she was in the loo when you walked that section? (I won’t go so far as to pun why the break was needed)
*Or, if this really is a reference to that wondrous superfood, “Cheese Whiz”…
Most of us know, that despite it’s name, CW is not a dairy product. But just as hamburger is kept in the beef section (instead of the pork section), so “Cheeze Whiz” might be kept in the dairy section. I’d venture a guess that Superfresh does not have an aisle devoted to “Emulsifiers”. As well, shoppers might get all confused, and upset, if they have to go look for their beloved CW in the section for products that spray, say, alongside charcoal lighter, or 409, or even Elmers Glue, for that matter. And, my guess is that the asterisk is a shorthand for the explanation. Kind of like, “Oh, and in case you’re wondering where the heck we keep Cheese Whiz, we (proudly) keep it here with the product it aims to mimic.
Say…one more thought. Do you have a National Boy Scout Jamboree set to take place in Chesterton? Because that would explain a lot, and be pretty convincing evidence that Superfresh is a mighty well run supermarket. But they better be prepared to take a bit of heat from the Reddi-Whip salesperson. Just sayin…
Perhaps the marketers at Superfresh have heard Michael Pollan advising us to shop from the perimeter of the grocery store because most of the processed foods are in the middle part. So they cleverly maneuvered a food-like-substance into that perimeter area to fool people into purchasing Cheese Whiz. Perhaps they will ignore that fact that CW has more than 5 ingredients, some of those ingredients listed are impossible to pronounce out loud, and that it is something your great grandmother would not recognize as a food.
I should have written “Aerosols” where I have “Emulsifiers”.
Which leads me to chide Barb. I mean, c’mon…so CW needs a few by-products. How else do you think they can get it to swirl out of the can in such a delectably perfect way?
Great road trip food, BTW. Distracting fun, no mess, no fuss, and several different flavors. Box of healthy wheat thins to balance things out, and you’re good to go.
Healthy wheat thins, Clare? Really? Mini ritz crackers are the way to go. Buttery cracker + spray cheese. Mmm… I mean, yuck, fake food.
what i want to know is what gauge of chain you use to keep your offspring bolted down at the grocery store. I assume Superfresh has carts with specially designed side bolts or something? or some kind of new child entrapment device? what genius. if a parent can focus enough to take a clear still shot at the grocery, just think how he could focus on his shopping list…
I would have guessed it had something to do with product placement if it wasn’t for the fact that the product is actually spelled “Cheez Whiz” . . . you don’t pay to have your brand mis-identified.
My actual guess: someone wrote it on the sign order as a joke, it got submitted without review, and no one has had the nerve to take it down because no one is really sure who authorized it and they think it came from corporate headquarters somewhere.