This post is a follow-up to the one I wrote the other night upon arriving at my motel in Palmyra, PA. The gist of that post was that the room was not exactly five star, but that it seemed sufficient to my current need for sleep-based horizontality.
I’m writing to revise my impressions of the place. Upon waking, I noticed luxurious details that I had missed the night before. Like the bottle opener bolted to the vanity.
A generous hospitality basket, teeming with the latest personal beauty products.
The clever theft-deterrent system meant to ensure that, were I tempted to steal their leathery towels, I would be promptly punished.
I had no idea that I had spent the night in such a swanky place. Suddenly I felt more comfortable and better rested. I headed out to sample the continental breakfast. Strangely, the lobby was locked. Though a sign invited me to ring for service, the interior was conspicuously dark.
Where was my continental breakfast to be found? A moment later I found it. What a spectacular spread.
The next time I’m in Palmyra, I’m going to bring the kids. We’ll go for a swim in the pool.
Play on the jungle gym.
And try to resist the lure of the chemical storage area.
Fun for the whole family indeed. As I was preparing to leave, I noticed the cornerstone block, with the names of the builders. Strangely, one of them seems to have blotted his name from the record.
I simply can’t imagine why.
Oh dear. I’m sorry.
If you feel the urge to splurge at all, I highly recommend 1825 Inn Bed & Breakfast. They’re right in Palmyra…
http://www.1825inn.com/
“Permanent Invisible Code Markings.” I think they write “OUR TOWEL” on there with lemon juice and then hold it up to a lightbulb to check it.
restaurant quality review…4 stars
Oh, Matthew…!!! Good times, eh?
We have stayed in a few places that more than rival this one. (The price you pay for those road trips where you decide to take things as they come.) I think our all time favorite was the L**coln Motel in Austin, Nevada (pop. 417). It’s a small mountain town in the middle of nowhere, on Highway 50. (“The loneliest road in America”). I offered to drive all night, but both of my car mates were deathly sick with a horrible virus. The room was unbelievable. Filthy shag carpet, a hole in the wall distinctively the size of a fist…I think we had to prop a chair against the door to keep it closed. None of us took one smidgen of our clothes off. Their fevers passed by morning and we climbed into the car and got the heck out of Alamo.
Not sure why I put “Alamo” at the end of my comment. I guess my brain morphed “Dodge” to Alamo instead of Austin. Make no mistake, this was AUSTIN, Nevada.
Well, all I can say is thank you. I really needed to laugh out loud this morning before embarking on some unpleasantness and sure enough, you came through. I feel emboldened for my day now.
Swanky!
You are talkin’ Ritz, baby! It doesn’t get any better, huh?
Oy. It’s prolly good that you didn’t notice the amenities when you checked.
Okay… I just gave D a tour (starting with the original post) of your fancy lodgings, and we are both laughing our asses off. We think you should commit to a series. And, we fully understand that Robbi must stay home with the kids whilst you undertake the research (and journey). It is a walk on the wild side after all.
FWIW, we have a few more recommendations besides the L**coln Motel. There was also the R***isson in Norfolk, Va., complete with pre-furried sheets. Not a free room in the entire city and it was really late. Housekeeping was off for the night. So… we ended up getting the security man to open the linen closet so we could change the sheets ourselves. Clean sheets, but we had to turn a blind eye to the toenail clippings littering the floor next to the bed. No lie. (I did end up getting my money back on that one, after lots of internet back and forth.)
Anyway, funny, funny stuff! Even better second time through. Thanks for the giggles.
BTW, are you and R up to date on your tetanus shots?