So here’s the deal:
I have an overactive imagination. No, actually, I guess I shouldn’t say “overactive.” It’s actually more “incredibly suggestible.” For example: Matthew is not allowed to make weird freaky-looking faces, because then for next two weeks I can’t look at him without getting creeped out because all I see is his weird freaky-looking face and not the one that is actually on his head. Also: do not show me any of your grisly wounds or surgery scars. Every time I look at you, I will be worried about your no-longer-grisly-but-still-grisly-in-my-head wound/scar, and won’t be able to pay attention to your new foxy hairdo.
Which is to say, I never watch horror movies. I made the mistake of watching The Shining in college and all anyone has to do is crook their finger like that little kid saying “redrumredrum” and I’m all heebie-jeebies. And forget about going into the woods in Maryland. The Blair Witch Project ruined that for me.
So, a couple weeks ago our dear friend and SCOPI Don informed us that he had won a trip to a private screening of Ethan Hawke’s latest film, which would include a Q&A with Mr. Hawke himself and the director of the movie. He asked if we would be interested in coming. I said, “Hell’s yeah!” and started polishing my shoes and doing my hair. He added me to the guest list (Matthew, slightly less motivated to be in the same room as Mr. Hawke, is staying home with the kids) so we’re officially ON. Well, a couple days ago I looked up “Ethan Hawke’s latest movie” and discovered this:
Oh good lord. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to watch this. It might ruin me for the rest of my life. Just the trailer is giving me the hibbily-jibbilies. I’m hoping I don’t do anything embarrassing like pee my pants.
That all being said, I thought I’d ask all of you out there if you have any questions you think I should ask Mr. Hawke (or the director) in the Q&A session. There’s nothing worse than having a Q&A when no one actually asks any Qs. Unless, of course, it’s having someone in the audience pee her pants in the middle of your movie.
Screening is Saturday night in NYC, so get your Qs in now! (Leave them in the comments below!)
Please ask whether anybody was motivated to participate in this movie by anything other than money. The trailer made me chuckle because it was so over-the-top — and Ethan Hawke’s scared face was not credible. Laugh if you can but be sure to bring your sleep mask and ear plugs.
I can certainly empathize, I got too creeped out to even make it through the trailer!
Please ask Ethan why he never returned any of my calls or letters and what his shoe size is and if he has a favorite Beatle and if he has a lock of hair or a few ccs of blood he’d like to donate to my shrine.
I have no questions for Mr. Hawke, but have to tell you that I won’t even watch that trailer b/c it’s going to give me the heebildy jeebildies. I heard an ad on the radio this AM for a huge haunted house here and thought, “Why on earth would anyone DO that to themselves?” So, right there with you, scaredy cat to scaredy cat.
Erica – am I asking that for your shrine or for mine? Would it be weird if I asked the same question twice?
Cora and Heather – I’ve been watching the trailer over and over again and reminding myself that somebody had to actually spraypaint the scary little symbol onto the set, and that when the little kid comes out of the cardboard box, there were actually a bunch of people around him saying, “creepier! stick your elbows out! don’t look like you’re looking at anything! CREEPIER! YEAH! EVEN MORE CREEPY! YEAH LIKE THAT!!!”
Oh, silly Sarah. Does anyone do ANYTHING that isn’t motivated by money? I’m only making this trip in hopes that Ethan Hawke will fall in love with me and offer me half of his riches and a nice island to retire to. Actually, the falling in love with part is really just a means to an end. If he could just offer me half of his riches, he’d totally be off the hook.
Could you find out if he’s single (now that he’s no longer with Uma)? And if so, could you give him my number? thanks!
Good idea about watching it over and over again!! Maybe picturing them all in their underwear might help?? Just an idea.
Let us know how it goes! xo
Golly. Tres scarey, Robbi. Bury yourself in an iPod and do hide your eyes. Jeeze, Don, why couldn’t you win a trip to a Woody Allen movie or something.
I’ve totally got the heebildie jeebildies too. Yipes!
Um, Robbi, I don’t think you should watch this movie. It could scar you for life, and then who will draw the pictures??? I like scary movies, and I don’t think even I would watch it. Freaky!